The Curse of Venezuela: Ticks, Scorpions, and Tarantulas oh my! (Hardwear Sessions)

By Mike Libecki

I just got back from far out in the fantasyland of the Gran Sabana, Venezuela. This is the same place Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stories of The Lost World originated, and it is no wonder why. It is one of the planet's least explored and most unique ecosystems, and it is estimated that there are still thousands of plant, animal, and insect species waiting to be discovered among the jungles and atop the unique Tepui mountains. Of course, we headed to the area because it is home to huge, overhanging, equatorial heated walls for exposed big wall climbing.

My partner Kyle Dempster and I left just after Christmas to celebrate the New Year in the dense jungle in hopes to climb the 2,000-foot ominous wall on the Acopon Tepui massif. Our goal of reaching the summit of this intensely overhanging wall came true just two weeks after our bush plane landed near the native village Yune-ken. I thought the crux of the trip would be the thin seams and large roofs, or maybe the excruciating heat - ha! Little did I know:

On two different occasions I had three ticks on my scrotum, and yes, I pulled the little f***ckers off my scrotum-stretching my sack like gum, then, pop! I almost blacked out when the blood oozed out where the ticks feasted. I also found a little sinister orange and black tick on the golden jewel itself (yes, my penis). Then came the scorpion factor. The scorpions in the area are deadly. No, we did not have any close calls while climbing the route, but I did see Kyle almost die. At the base of the wall while enjoying local hot sauce and tortillas, my partner turned on his headlamp to dab on some more Don Pedro salsa, that's when one of the little black devils came running, pinchers and stinger ready for battle on a suicide mission to duel with Kyle. Had the scorpion reached his target of Kyle's flesh - just a foot from his leg - well, lets just say it was too close for comfort. The scorpion succeeded on his suicide mission and is no longer alive. Survival of the fittest. Ahh, of course the torment was not over: up on the route as I was climbing in a sweet, shady, thin corner, a huge black, gray and orange tarantula came out to challenge my cam placement, twice. I won, but, I was freaked, and I was sure he was going to jump on my face and sink his quarter-inch fangs into my cheek to save his sacred ground.

Stay tuned: The full detailed story will be out in Mountain Hardwear's next catalog...